This one does not belong.
Why? Because i'm home. And I have found Myself.
I have returned, O I have returned. And it is a nice thing.
It is a nice thing to have brewed coffee. It's a nice thing to have a working police force. It's a nice thing to have some dear friends back. It's a nice thing to worship as a body. It's a nice thing to be done with Malarone. It's a nice thing to blend in, too.
And here i discover homogeny. Which is a word.
There is an interesting fact of life. Fish do not know they are wet. Until, that is, they study abroad for two months. Then they arrive home. And they know. They are wet.
And I do not mean from the rain. Pause the seriousness for an anecdote: we had major flooding in the last campsite. Our tent became a waterbed, literally floating up around us, until we evacuated and dragged our boat/tent to higher ground. Our rubber floor was waterproof, so the four inch river that begged entry from our front door was relatively unsuccessful.
But no, that is not why I am wet. I am wet because I am surrounded, by a culture that I do not see, yet flows everywhere that I feel at home.
In my eyes, everywhere else there exists a culture, a people, a unique thing, a different thing. But not here. Here is natural culture. Here are grounds from which to analyze the world.
In my eyes, here is culture. There is a culture, but here is culture. Do you see the difference? If you do, perhaps you know you're wet. If you don't, you're wet. Like me.
Example in point- I always knew there were a lot of white people at Furman. But now, it is a striking novelty. It is strange, new, unique and different. This is not the world as it is, anymore. It is an unforeseen culture, which yes i knew was present. But it is a funny thing to return to.
A friend on the trip mentioned this reality to me. They said that me, white, standing out in Africa was the same as a black student at Furman. And I felt it might be an exaggeration. At Furman, there is a common language, common food, common spaces, after all.
But, then, in Africa, there was a common language too [English]. And common food. And spaces.
I think my friend was more accurate than I at first recognized.
I think part of culture shock is the realization that to belong can sometimes be a choice, and sometimes it cannot. I did not have the choice to 'belong', to blend in, to be part of the many cultures. But on my return, i can choose whether or not to again belong to this culture, in which so much of my allegiance lies unbeknownst and unquestioned.
It is a strange chance to be born again, should I choose so to do. To be new to a culture I've always known, to embrace and be embraced by it.
To be free to just live, to just do it. To not think about the hard things, the big things. They say ignorance is bliss.
But it does not exist.
And, really, it's not that great.
And if you know me well, you know that's not what I want anyway. It's not something i chose, nor something i'm choosing now.
Culture shock is not as harrowing for me as I had expected. It is not so scary, as some thought it would be. I am stable. I am rejoicing in God, celebrating in His calling here. I am pursuing opportunities this summer to chase Him further. I am excited, and I am growing. Yet, I am stable. Not because I found myself in Africa. And not because I find myself here. On Christ I stand, and I'm born in Him alone. I am learning to jump the kraal and the tank, because neither is suitable for my calling. Nor is it suitable for yours.
I am not sure if this is the last email. You can ensure that it is your last by requesting to come off the list. I will again cry, but what with the workload of late i'm braced for tears anyhow ;)
In Africa, I am the black sheep. In America, I am the fish. In God, I am human. And I'll choose to find Myself in that.
-drew
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Africa Update 5: Fifth (3/15/2010)
No time for style. This is it, folks, this is it. Tomorrow we begin to move for the Border, beginning our treks through the bush of Botswana. I am amped beyond measure. We're getting to jump into Zimbabwe to see victoria falls, hanging with the San Bushmen, canoeing past hippos, and riding giraffes.
We probably will not ride giraffes. But a boy can dream.
Yesterday, brief rundown-
-breakfast run to supermarket. Ate an 'American Doughnut'. it was not an American Doughnut, but points for trying.
-sandboarding in the Namib, the dune-desert outside of Swakopmund. The riding was unreal, but the climbing back to the top of the dunes was very much real, and my calfs are feeling it. 80-90 meter climbs after each go- it'll wear you out. But the breeze was fantastic, and they gave us a DVD, so no worries.
-met with a church planter from Antioch Church in Waco, TX. He knows louie giglio, did ministiry in somalia, and is starting a pizza place. Wow. Ever heard of the 'business as ministry model' (BAM)? interesting idea. Making tents=making pizza. I get it.
-had some worship, prayer, and scriptures with some folks in the group. It was good. We prayed hard, sang a-capela, and read much. Some of our prayers have already been answered. He's a good father, you know.
Thoughts. Emotions are not meant to make our decisions. Most believe that. However, neither is pure reason. Both are from God, yet both are broken as a result of sin. Scripture says 'where is the scholar of our age?', talking of man's wisdom as incomplete. We are called to act in Christ, to discern what is best by the spirit. What does that look like, exactly? I think it has much to do with checking our emotions and our logic against scripture, against a revealed God who has spoken in His Word and still speaks to us. But it's easier said than done. We've had several debates, one in particular, where i have felt reason and emotion dominate. And these are good. But i don't think they're enough, though my heart runs to them long before i run to prayer. Really, i think they're easier. There's less risk involved. I can order my life on reason, and if God fails to come through, then i'm still standing on reason. I can order my life on my emotion, and if God does not act, i can claim betrayal. It all felt right, it was in love, in passion. I have an internal parachute.
What i've found, as i argue (usually from reason), is that I lose sight of a big God. In fact, my God becomes small. My faith is riddled with contingencies, much like my prayers. "Heal him, Father. But, if you don't, give him Your peace." or "Go, and sin no more. But if you're going to sin, at least be safe." Where is the power of the gospel? The confidence in the blood of Christ? We claim that when Jesus speaks the mountains throw themselves into the sea. Yet we define man as too stubborn a subject. I firmly believe that the gospel is it, the end-all, be-all of it-all. But if it's so, I must be willing to throw the rest away- even my feelings, even my educated reason. As Paul wrote, 'all else i consider waste when compared to knowing my God.' Again 'while i was with you, i resolved to know nothing except the gospel, that i would not speak in human wisdom but in the spirit's power'. 'What i want to do, i do not do, and what i do not want to do, I do.' neither my feelings nor my logic have room enough for my God. i pray for the faith to let go of both.
I also pray for 9 month old Micah, a child, soon to be the adopted nephew of a friend of mine. He has Hep B (medically incurable), and is being retested for HIV. He was first found positive, but the initial testing is often masked by the mother's state (HIV positive). If he has HIV as well as Hep B, the medicines conflict. Pray that the test will come back negative. We are praying for a miracle. We are praying for a Big God to act, in ways that go beyond reason. But i believe it's possible. Pray fervently, unceasing. The test will come while we are in the bush, so we won't know the results. It gives us all more time to pray in faith. So pray, fervently, unceasing. I let you know.
Pray for us to love eachother as well. With a broken washer, we stink, literally. I'mn out of shirts, and shorts. We need some grace, and some shiny white robes would be nice, too.
I had another email written, but time ran out and it got deleted. As i re-write it here, it's completely different. I pray that God is at work in it, and they you are encouraged, blessed, and that God uses me in this somehow.
i'm out of time, and i will see you all soon.
We probably will not ride giraffes. But a boy can dream.
Yesterday, brief rundown-
-breakfast run to supermarket. Ate an 'American Doughnut'. it was not an American Doughnut, but points for trying.
-sandboarding in the Namib, the dune-desert outside of Swakopmund. The riding was unreal, but the climbing back to the top of the dunes was very much real, and my calfs are feeling it. 80-90 meter climbs after each go- it'll wear you out. But the breeze was fantastic, and they gave us a DVD, so no worries.
-met with a church planter from Antioch Church in Waco, TX. He knows louie giglio, did ministiry in somalia, and is starting a pizza place. Wow. Ever heard of the 'business as ministry model' (BAM)? interesting idea. Making tents=making pizza. I get it.
-had some worship, prayer, and scriptures with some folks in the group. It was good. We prayed hard, sang a-capela, and read much. Some of our prayers have already been answered. He's a good father, you know.
Thoughts. Emotions are not meant to make our decisions. Most believe that. However, neither is pure reason. Both are from God, yet both are broken as a result of sin. Scripture says 'where is the scholar of our age?', talking of man's wisdom as incomplete. We are called to act in Christ, to discern what is best by the spirit. What does that look like, exactly? I think it has much to do with checking our emotions and our logic against scripture, against a revealed God who has spoken in His Word and still speaks to us. But it's easier said than done. We've had several debates, one in particular, where i have felt reason and emotion dominate. And these are good. But i don't think they're enough, though my heart runs to them long before i run to prayer. Really, i think they're easier. There's less risk involved. I can order my life on reason, and if God fails to come through, then i'm still standing on reason. I can order my life on my emotion, and if God does not act, i can claim betrayal. It all felt right, it was in love, in passion. I have an internal parachute.
What i've found, as i argue (usually from reason), is that I lose sight of a big God. In fact, my God becomes small. My faith is riddled with contingencies, much like my prayers. "Heal him, Father. But, if you don't, give him Your peace." or "Go, and sin no more. But if you're going to sin, at least be safe." Where is the power of the gospel? The confidence in the blood of Christ? We claim that when Jesus speaks the mountains throw themselves into the sea. Yet we define man as too stubborn a subject. I firmly believe that the gospel is it, the end-all, be-all of it-all. But if it's so, I must be willing to throw the rest away- even my feelings, even my educated reason. As Paul wrote, 'all else i consider waste when compared to knowing my God.' Again 'while i was with you, i resolved to know nothing except the gospel, that i would not speak in human wisdom but in the spirit's power'. 'What i want to do, i do not do, and what i do not want to do, I do.' neither my feelings nor my logic have room enough for my God. i pray for the faith to let go of both.
I also pray for 9 month old Micah, a child, soon to be the adopted nephew of a friend of mine. He has Hep B (medically incurable), and is being retested for HIV. He was first found positive, but the initial testing is often masked by the mother's state (HIV positive). If he has HIV as well as Hep B, the medicines conflict. Pray that the test will come back negative. We are praying for a miracle. We are praying for a Big God to act, in ways that go beyond reason. But i believe it's possible. Pray fervently, unceasing. The test will come while we are in the bush, so we won't know the results. It gives us all more time to pray in faith. So pray, fervently, unceasing. I let you know.
Pray for us to love eachother as well. With a broken washer, we stink, literally. I'mn out of shirts, and shorts. We need some grace, and some shiny white robes would be nice, too.
I had another email written, but time ran out and it got deleted. As i re-write it here, it's completely different. I pray that God is at work in it, and they you are encouraged, blessed, and that God uses me in this somehow.
i'm out of time, and i will see you all soon.
Africa Update 4: The Honourable Mention (3/7/2010)
there is no medal for fourth.
Welcome to the fourth and possibly final installment of Drew Miller's
Africa Study Abroad emails! It is possibly final because i am not sure if
we will have any internet, even phone communication once we reach the
final two weeks of our trip. It's the fourth because i have sent three
emails before it.
We will be spending the last two weeks in the bush in Botswana. In tents and
intense. Really. Our last tour guide told us that he always camps with a
big ole' maglite, so when (not if) the hyenas come sniffing at the tent
you can bash its nose through the wall and send it
packing. Yeah. We also are not allowed to leave the tents at night.
With our record of digestive issues, this will be a harrowing adventure,
to be sure.
Speaking of harrowing adventures:
i previously mentioned the hike: turns out there are more deaths by lightening in
that mountain range than anywhere else. i feel more foolish, yet more
superhero-esque than ever.
I was mugged in capetown. well, unsuccessfully. He said that he was a
cop, that i needed to put my hands on the wall, and that he was going to
search me. Broad daylight, mind you, and crowded, on the main street.
Confused, i said, "no, you're not a cop." And then it sank in.
Of course he's not a cop. I'm being mugged.
He was persistant, but, having begun my dispute, it seemed unwise to alter my stance.
He said 'get on the wall, i must search you,' and i said, 'no, show me a
badge'. After some (verbal) back and forth, he finally said 'oh, you just don't
understand, never mind, no worries.' and i brushed past him.
Immediately he progressed to the next white person on the sidewalk. I
crossed the street, to the nearest security guard. (They stand on most
street corners, watching for trouble,) I explained to him what happened,
and he asked a few questions.
Then he said 'sorry, that's not my block.
the other security guard must be over there somewhere. you should tell him.' Really really.
I had left Hannah K in the internet cafe from whence i had come. So, after
i lost sight of the mugger, i carefully placed myself between two
ridiculously buff fellows that were walking in her direction and scooted
back into the cafe. When hannah finished, i advised her to walk quick,
and upon exiting the building saw my old friend the cop-copier on the
opposite side of the street hastling yet another pedestrian. In broad
daylight. I told the guard again as we passed him on the way to the
guesthouse, and he seemed uncomfortable, but unmoved. TIA chap. (this is
Africa).
Yes, I was shaken up. In fact, I already was. Culturally, everyone walks slow here. Back home,
everyone walks fast. It makes me wary of any and everyone who walks slow,
and thus I am wary of any and everyone here. It is ridiculous, i know, but real in it's consequences. I was a little shaken up.
The strangest thing about the whole event was that he would have gotten more cash if he had just asked. I'm trying to live into Jesus's call to give to whoever asks, as Christ gave to me while i was still in rebellion against him. He didn't need to mug me at all, because I'm practicing grace with my money. Irony. I should have given him money anyway, but i was so surprised it didn't cross my mind until later.
I am currently in a homestay with Steven, living for the weekend with a Lutheran pastor and his wife, and a pastor in training. Wikipedia 'Nakamhela'. It's him. We had no idea that he was so prominent until we googled him tonight. He is a humble man, delicate in reproof and hospitable. We are given a plate of fruit every evening before bed. It's wonderful.
However, there is a goat head in the fridge. Note that it
is dead. I figured this truth was self-evident, but the intern pastor thought the distinction to be both humorous and necessary. Alas-
things are different here.
if you've ever read Cry, the Beloved Country, the Pastor with whom we are staying fits the main character very well. I watched him try to counsel his son, who has left the fold, so-to-speak. I have never seen such self control and yet such wisdom. He chose his words as Manet chose his colors. Each response was carefully weighed.
He reminds me that I have much growing to do in my faith. And to be honest, I can prove it.
I felt pretty good about myself, and how I had maintained my patience, how I had encouraged others towards Christ, how I had avoided gossip, and avoided complaining (for the most part). But this past week has been hard. I have gossipped. I have grown impatient, i have snapped, I have despised some of my friends. I have complained. And in my pride I still focussed on the pride of others, ignoring my own. Even as I think of the week, i try to justify my behaviors. I was tired. I was ill. Their pride was obvious, and disrespect cutting.
Yet i cannot defend my behavior. I have not loved, but hated, and I know that i chose the latter.
All to often i forget. But I need Christ. Because I am a sinner. And the rest need me to have Christ too, because my brokenness is contagious, and my sin is hurtful to my friends.
So I ask for your prayers as i try to return, in confession, to my God. As we sang in church this morning, I need thee every hour. God, if only I would remember that. Pray that my brokenness would be clear to me, that I would run ever quicker to the God who saves.
And pray that i would repent well, that i would love those that wear on me with an unconditional love. Pray that i would have wisdom to speak correction when it is truly needed, but also for humility, that I would not act in self-righteousness as I am prone to do. I want to bring glory to God by bringing worshippers to His throne, but i cannot do so in my power. The quicker I see my need for Christ, the quicker I can live and rejoice in Him, and the quicker i can live in His ability instead of mine.
Recenlty I have realized the limitations of one-way communication. I miss my discussions with many of you. I miss praying with some of you, eating with some of you, just chatting with some of you. While enjoying the trip, I''m counting down the days until our 16.5 hour flight back home
I miss almost all of you. However, in continued honesty I must say that I do not miss Renee and Ali, who are on this mailing list. But that is simply because they are both on the trip with me: the rest of you, I miss.
To leave you on a happy note, i was finally able to watch the homemade DVD that my parents sent me for my birthday. The soundtrack (Africa, of course) was phenomenal, and the character development superb. I have never seen so many baby pictures. Thank you for the reminder of my loving family.
Alas, i have meandered on too long again. I fear quantity has once more beaten quality. If it is so, don't read the mugger section. It's really not that crucial. May the God who draws me near draw you near too.
-Thabiso
-drew
ps-I'm trying to figure out housing for next fall, and i have a sore throat, so I covet your prayers for those as well.
Welcome to the fourth and possibly final installment of Drew Miller's
Africa Study Abroad emails! It is possibly final because i am not sure if
we will have any internet, even phone communication once we reach the
final two weeks of our trip. It's the fourth because i have sent three
emails before it.
We will be spending the last two weeks in the bush in Botswana. In tents and
intense. Really. Our last tour guide told us that he always camps with a
big ole' maglite, so when (not if) the hyenas come sniffing at the tent
you can bash its nose through the wall and send it
packing. Yeah. We also are not allowed to leave the tents at night.
With our record of digestive issues, this will be a harrowing adventure,
to be sure.
Speaking of harrowing adventures:
i previously mentioned the hike: turns out there are more deaths by lightening in
that mountain range than anywhere else. i feel more foolish, yet more
superhero-esque than ever.
I was mugged in capetown. well, unsuccessfully. He said that he was a
cop, that i needed to put my hands on the wall, and that he was going to
search me. Broad daylight, mind you, and crowded, on the main street.
Confused, i said, "no, you're not a cop." And then it sank in.
Of course he's not a cop. I'm being mugged.
He was persistant, but, having begun my dispute, it seemed unwise to alter my stance.
He said 'get on the wall, i must search you,' and i said, 'no, show me a
badge'. After some (verbal) back and forth, he finally said 'oh, you just don't
understand, never mind, no worries.' and i brushed past him.
Immediately he progressed to the next white person on the sidewalk. I
crossed the street, to the nearest security guard. (They stand on most
street corners, watching for trouble,) I explained to him what happened,
and he asked a few questions.
Then he said 'sorry, that's not my block.
the other security guard must be over there somewhere. you should tell him.' Really really.
I had left Hannah K in the internet cafe from whence i had come. So, after
i lost sight of the mugger, i carefully placed myself between two
ridiculously buff fellows that were walking in her direction and scooted
back into the cafe. When hannah finished, i advised her to walk quick,
and upon exiting the building saw my old friend the cop-copier on the
opposite side of the street hastling yet another pedestrian. In broad
daylight. I told the guard again as we passed him on the way to the
guesthouse, and he seemed uncomfortable, but unmoved. TIA chap. (this is
Africa).
Yes, I was shaken up. In fact, I already was. Culturally, everyone walks slow here. Back home,
everyone walks fast. It makes me wary of any and everyone who walks slow,
and thus I am wary of any and everyone here. It is ridiculous, i know, but real in it's consequences. I was a little shaken up.
The strangest thing about the whole event was that he would have gotten more cash if he had just asked. I'm trying to live into Jesus's call to give to whoever asks, as Christ gave to me while i was still in rebellion against him. He didn't need to mug me at all, because I'm practicing grace with my money. Irony. I should have given him money anyway, but i was so surprised it didn't cross my mind until later.
I am currently in a homestay with Steven, living for the weekend with a Lutheran pastor and his wife, and a pastor in training. Wikipedia 'Nakamhela'. It's him. We had no idea that he was so prominent until we googled him tonight. He is a humble man, delicate in reproof and hospitable. We are given a plate of fruit every evening before bed. It's wonderful.
However, there is a goat head in the fridge. Note that it
is dead. I figured this truth was self-evident, but the intern pastor thought the distinction to be both humorous and necessary. Alas-
things are different here.
if you've ever read Cry, the Beloved Country, the Pastor with whom we are staying fits the main character very well. I watched him try to counsel his son, who has left the fold, so-to-speak. I have never seen such self control and yet such wisdom. He chose his words as Manet chose his colors. Each response was carefully weighed.
He reminds me that I have much growing to do in my faith. And to be honest, I can prove it.
I felt pretty good about myself, and how I had maintained my patience, how I had encouraged others towards Christ, how I had avoided gossip, and avoided complaining (for the most part). But this past week has been hard. I have gossipped. I have grown impatient, i have snapped, I have despised some of my friends. I have complained. And in my pride I still focussed on the pride of others, ignoring my own. Even as I think of the week, i try to justify my behaviors. I was tired. I was ill. Their pride was obvious, and disrespect cutting.
Yet i cannot defend my behavior. I have not loved, but hated, and I know that i chose the latter.
All to often i forget. But I need Christ. Because I am a sinner. And the rest need me to have Christ too, because my brokenness is contagious, and my sin is hurtful to my friends.
So I ask for your prayers as i try to return, in confession, to my God. As we sang in church this morning, I need thee every hour. God, if only I would remember that. Pray that my brokenness would be clear to me, that I would run ever quicker to the God who saves.
And pray that i would repent well, that i would love those that wear on me with an unconditional love. Pray that i would have wisdom to speak correction when it is truly needed, but also for humility, that I would not act in self-righteousness as I am prone to do. I want to bring glory to God by bringing worshippers to His throne, but i cannot do so in my power. The quicker I see my need for Christ, the quicker I can live and rejoice in Him, and the quicker i can live in His ability instead of mine.
Recenlty I have realized the limitations of one-way communication. I miss my discussions with many of you. I miss praying with some of you, eating with some of you, just chatting with some of you. While enjoying the trip, I''m counting down the days until our 16.5 hour flight back home
I miss almost all of you. However, in continued honesty I must say that I do not miss Renee and Ali, who are on this mailing list. But that is simply because they are both on the trip with me: the rest of you, I miss.
To leave you on a happy note, i was finally able to watch the homemade DVD that my parents sent me for my birthday. The soundtrack (Africa, of course) was phenomenal, and the character development superb. I have never seen so many baby pictures. Thank you for the reminder of my loving family.
Alas, i have meandered on too long again. I fear quantity has once more beaten quality. If it is so, don't read the mugger section. It's really not that crucial. May the God who draws me near draw you near too.
-Thabiso
-drew
ps-I'm trying to figure out housing for next fall, and i have a sore throat, so I covet your prayers for those as well.
Africa Update 3: The Hairy Chest (originally sent 2/28/2010)
Some say that the third is the one with the treasure chest, but since the guys have decided to only trim, not shave facial hair while abroad, I thought an alternative third may be more appropriate.
Hello from Cape Town! This city is beautiful, clean, and well-to-do. It was even endearing until we visited the District 6 museum that documented the forced relocation of poverty-stricken Africans from the city to townships in the dry flats 20+ kilometers away. Suddenly the cleanliness is less comfortable- it came at an unnacceptable price.
A statement, and then a reason: I'm not drinking on this trip. This is
for several reasons:
i want to save the money,
i want to avoid the calories (the Africa 15 is
frighteningly possible),
but, most importantly, because i know myself.
I know that, given a Dr. Pepper before a meal, i will drink five glasses before the main course arrives, and another while i'm eating. I finish every drop of every beverage and every scrap on my plate, and so i don't think it is wise, for me, personally (that is, for me, personally), to introduce a substance that the same unchecked consumption of which could hurt me and my friends. My grandfather was an alcoholic, and while i never knew him, there is academic support for the possibility of a genetic predisposition to it. Thus, there is every reason for me not to drink.
BUT, I also believe that it is not wrong to drink (provided you're of
legal age). That is why i am GLAD, genuinely glad, that two good friends, among others, drink. I think, on this study abroad in particular, it is very important that Christians walk in the freedom of Christ. After all, it was not for a new law that we were set free.
We're nearing the halfway mark of the journeys, and tempers, including mine, are high. Funny how well we bury our pride, and yet how easily exhaustion exhumes it again. Recognizing the fact, instead of cage diving on my day off, I'm going to church. And sleeping. And reading. Part of me is laughing in self-ridicule at the decision: am i actually passing this up? Because i honestly don't believe that there is anything wrong with cage diving either, even if it means you miss church. Go for it. Once in a lifetime, so why not?
But I also know that i am tired. I know that the my usefulness to God as a tool of redemption, my quickness to forgive, and the effectiveness of my witness will all be the worse for it if i don't rest. And i know that being intentional with Jesus, which will be easier for me if i rest
tomorrow, is sweeter even than cage diving. For me, i will Sabbath, and I am genuinely excited about it.
Sidenote sermon here: when was the last time you heard someone yearning for Sabbath?
Not to set an oppressive law, as a strict God, but a sweet proof of his love, God has called me to not depend on my workmanship. My faith does not rest on how good I can be, how much I can accomplish. No, it all rests on God, and thus, I can rest on him, too.
check Isaiah 30:15
I think we underestimate the commands of God. I have, anyway. Take the command 'pray continuously'. immediately my thoughts run to "oh, that's hard. good luck with that." Yet the best moments of my life have been in prayer. I have not been praying well recently, another
reason to rest tomorrow. Not because i have to, but because i genuinely want to. I want to walk closer with my God, and to recognize his voice. Why would i not pray continuously? (and, if you're looking for ammunition, pray continually for me to pray continually. i could use the
support).
Saw the cape penguins today. They may have been the most boring creatures i've seen yet on this trip, but the wind was blowing sand so hard it was stinging, like rain when you stick your arm out the window going 90 on the connector (joke, mom, joke), and that was exciting enough for the penguins to remain motionless. We also went to cape point (http://www.travelblog.org/Photos/1784869 [not my blog, not my picture, but a good one nonetheless]) , where the wind literally blew hannah kuehnert over and made me lose my balance more than once.
And we met Bishop Peter Storey, a friend of Rimes and Hauerwaus. He talked of the preeminence of the gospel, even over tradition and culture (both African and European), and
discussed the need for intentional integration in the church, particularly during apartheid. An interesting lecture for a student at a fairly racially segregated church. I don't think the segregation back home is intentional, but i also don't think it's beneficial, nor does it reflect God's chosen kingdom. How Bishop Storey integrated, he didn't say. But it happened, and the
methodist church in South Africa is better for it. And i think God is glorified by it, too.
How have I written so much, yet left so much out?! Brief updates and highlights:
1-I miss home
2-i miss friends
3-i LOVE the mountains here
4-i was offered marijuana [weed, pot, mary jane, grass] (i learned the
names in South Carolina Public Schools, but was offered the good in Capetown)
5-I failed heroically at surfing Durban
6-i threatened a baboon with my Teva
7-i traversed a 24km hike at Giants Castle, an epic journey that included
- an asthma attack by a friend of mine. without an inhaler. 3 miles from civilization. we prayed, she got better, but wildly frightening.
- chasing Elond (big mythical-esque moose-esque things)
- listening to Baboons scream
- breaking out in hives on my legs
- losing the trail in the middle of a thunderstorm on the top of rolling mountains as lightening struck all aroud us and steven insisted that we spread out, so if one gets hit someone's left to attempt CPR
- ducktaping blisters
- filtering stream water through a bandana to drink
- pulling grass-spears out of my shoes before they broke the skin (though i missed a few)
All true, and it was wild.
Additionally, there have been good conversations, i met a begging man
named Thabiso, and had my clothes laundered. A good trip, thus far.
Pray for rest, pray for joy, pray for wisdom in conversation. I thank God, that in his limitless grace, He gave me friends like you and then let me share my joy in Him with you. Pray that i'd have the same joyful opportunity here.
Much love to all, and my prayers go with you and this email. And my gratitude. Thanks for reading!
-thabiso
-drew
Hello from Cape Town! This city is beautiful, clean, and well-to-do. It was even endearing until we visited the District 6 museum that documented the forced relocation of poverty-stricken Africans from the city to townships in the dry flats 20+ kilometers away. Suddenly the cleanliness is less comfortable- it came at an unnacceptable price.
A statement, and then a reason: I'm not drinking on this trip. This is
for several reasons:
i want to save the money,
i want to avoid the calories (the Africa 15 is
frighteningly possible),
but, most importantly, because i know myself.
I know that, given a Dr. Pepper before a meal, i will drink five glasses before the main course arrives, and another while i'm eating. I finish every drop of every beverage and every scrap on my plate, and so i don't think it is wise, for me, personally (that is, for me, personally), to introduce a substance that the same unchecked consumption of which could hurt me and my friends. My grandfather was an alcoholic, and while i never knew him, there is academic support for the possibility of a genetic predisposition to it. Thus, there is every reason for me not to drink.
BUT, I also believe that it is not wrong to drink (provided you're of
legal age). That is why i am GLAD, genuinely glad, that two good friends, among others, drink. I think, on this study abroad in particular, it is very important that Christians walk in the freedom of Christ. After all, it was not for a new law that we were set free.
We're nearing the halfway mark of the journeys, and tempers, including mine, are high. Funny how well we bury our pride, and yet how easily exhaustion exhumes it again. Recognizing the fact, instead of cage diving on my day off, I'm going to church. And sleeping. And reading. Part of me is laughing in self-ridicule at the decision: am i actually passing this up? Because i honestly don't believe that there is anything wrong with cage diving either, even if it means you miss church. Go for it. Once in a lifetime, so why not?
But I also know that i am tired. I know that the my usefulness to God as a tool of redemption, my quickness to forgive, and the effectiveness of my witness will all be the worse for it if i don't rest. And i know that being intentional with Jesus, which will be easier for me if i rest
tomorrow, is sweeter even than cage diving. For me, i will Sabbath, and I am genuinely excited about it.
Sidenote sermon here: when was the last time you heard someone yearning for Sabbath?
Not to set an oppressive law, as a strict God, but a sweet proof of his love, God has called me to not depend on my workmanship. My faith does not rest on how good I can be, how much I can accomplish. No, it all rests on God, and thus, I can rest on him, too.
check Isaiah 30:15
I think we underestimate the commands of God. I have, anyway. Take the command 'pray continuously'. immediately my thoughts run to "oh, that's hard. good luck with that." Yet the best moments of my life have been in prayer. I have not been praying well recently, another
reason to rest tomorrow. Not because i have to, but because i genuinely want to. I want to walk closer with my God, and to recognize his voice. Why would i not pray continuously? (and, if you're looking for ammunition, pray continually for me to pray continually. i could use the
support).
Saw the cape penguins today. They may have been the most boring creatures i've seen yet on this trip, but the wind was blowing sand so hard it was stinging, like rain when you stick your arm out the window going 90 on the connector (joke, mom, joke), and that was exciting enough for the penguins to remain motionless. We also went to cape point (http://www.travelblog.org/Photos/1784869 [not my blog, not my picture, but a good one nonetheless]) , where the wind literally blew hannah kuehnert over and made me lose my balance more than once.
And we met Bishop Peter Storey, a friend of Rimes and Hauerwaus. He talked of the preeminence of the gospel, even over tradition and culture (both African and European), and
discussed the need for intentional integration in the church, particularly during apartheid. An interesting lecture for a student at a fairly racially segregated church. I don't think the segregation back home is intentional, but i also don't think it's beneficial, nor does it reflect God's chosen kingdom. How Bishop Storey integrated, he didn't say. But it happened, and the
methodist church in South Africa is better for it. And i think God is glorified by it, too.
How have I written so much, yet left so much out?! Brief updates and highlights:
1-I miss home
2-i miss friends
3-i LOVE the mountains here
4-i was offered marijuana [weed, pot, mary jane, grass] (i learned the
names in South Carolina Public Schools, but was offered the good in Capetown)
5-I failed heroically at surfing Durban
6-i threatened a baboon with my Teva
7-i traversed a 24km hike at Giants Castle, an epic journey that included
- an asthma attack by a friend of mine. without an inhaler. 3 miles from civilization. we prayed, she got better, but wildly frightening.
- chasing Elond (big mythical-esque moose-esque things)
- listening to Baboons scream
- breaking out in hives on my legs
- losing the trail in the middle of a thunderstorm on the top of rolling mountains as lightening struck all aroud us and steven insisted that we spread out, so if one gets hit someone's left to attempt CPR
- ducktaping blisters
- filtering stream water through a bandana to drink
- pulling grass-spears out of my shoes before they broke the skin (though i missed a few)
All true, and it was wild.
Additionally, there have been good conversations, i met a begging man
named Thabiso, and had my clothes laundered. A good trip, thus far.
Pray for rest, pray for joy, pray for wisdom in conversation. I thank God, that in his limitless grace, He gave me friends like you and then let me share my joy in Him with you. Pray that i'd have the same joyful opportunity here.
Much love to all, and my prayers go with you and this email. And my gratitude. Thanks for reading!
-thabiso
-drew
Africa Update 2: Update DOS (2/8/2010)
And so it continues. I'll get right down to business. this will hopefully be both uplifting and explicit, and if it is overly so (in either direction) i ask your pardon.
I miss you all, particularly you, mom and dad. Staying in a strange home was both a sweet and bitter (though the food is much better), because i was able to enjoy a family schedule and company while realized both how much i have and miss. in fact, i was embarrassed of how much i have. Their house was nice, well built and rather large (one story, 6 rooms, 1.5 baths), without air conditioning but with cement floor and walls, so very cool even at midday. Afterr visiting Orange Farm, a township composed primarily of shacks of tin, this house was luxury. Yet, when i began to open my flipbook of pictures in my room, i could not stomach showing them what i have. He was firmly proud of his house, paid for with two teachers' (self-termed 'education practitioners', to add cultural weight) salaries, a house that replaced the small brick one that had been on the lot previously. Yet mine, for which i had done nothing, dwarfed his home. I could not bring myself to show my privilege. It was not guilt, i don't thin
k. And it certainly was not ingratitude- i wouldn't trade my home, and my childhood there, for the world. But there was something painful about the inequality, and i did not want to emphasize it.
The homestay was very interesting. We visited everyone and their mother, then the adopted mother-neighbor, the cousins, and several malls. Yes, there are malls in south africa, with KFC, McDonalds, fancy italian brands i can't pronounce but see in Charleston, and ice cream. The roads are full of cars, on the wrong side of the road and all. i've tried to get in the driver seat several times, only to have my homestay brothers laugh at me and call me back.
God has again proven himself faithful. If i recall correctly, i asked you all to pray for joy, for myself, and that i may show my joy to others. At my homestay in suburban Soweto (orlando east), my S. African family gave me a sesotho (pronounced seh-sootoo) name: Thabiso. It means: 'one who brings joy'. yup. sick.
Speaking of sick, Kasey's not feeling 100%, so if you're praying for me anyway, throw one up for her.
My stomach is acting decidedly bipolar, which is understandable (ever eaten pap? or ostrich? springbok?). i have already found myself in the Wantland-esque Dilemna of deciding which, between boxers or dollar bills , most aptly replaces toilet paper. Alas, i kept the bills.
The children here love camera's, and i'll tell you the cameras reciprocate. you can't be a bad photograper when you have children climbing on you, and on Nellie (Dr. Boucher to her face). If you want a challenge, check out Lombano Orphanage for HIV+ orphans in South Africa. I was deeply challenged by their work. This is the same orphanage at which (Auntie/Uncle) Shelley worked this summer. I had not realized the magnitude of her work. To care for children daily, children who may not live until next year, is a hard, hard calling. Yet she did, and others continue to do, now and everyday. In fact, they adopt the children, in their name, so that they can care for them permanently. A stunning, Christ centered, God-faithful and God-relying organization. I hope to visit them with Shelley again tomorrow, and i plan on asking about opportunities to serve there. Pray for that, if you will.
The landscape is phenomenal. THe red dirt contrasts the lush greenery, particularly green after the unusual amount of rain. We are far from the Vaal River, which is flooding out villages right now. I hear the homeland is having some precipitation of another form currently... Any in Greenville?
i ask your prayers, first and foremost, for conversation. I fear i may come off as too eager to talk of God, but He keeps coming up. I am not looking for ways to fit Him in my conversations- He simply flips the breaker and walks in. I don't often know where the convo will go, but when asked my opinion, i'm answering honestly. pray for humility and wisdom, that i would not speak foolishly but that the joy of God and his Gospel would shine naturally.
i was asked my my homestay dad (Tiboho) if i sing our national anthem from the heart. And so i spoke honestly, and said, not as much as i once did. He asked for an explanation, and so I told him that, yes, i was greatful, and i supported much of what we as the US, have done. But i also knew how much we have done poorly, and i explained that I could not pledge my alliagance first to my country, because it is pledged first to my God, and his glory. He was immediately shut off, not offended but uncomfortable. He asked if I was christian, and i said yes; very religious? yes. And so my homestay mom (matabo) said 'you could be like a pastor', and i said yes, maybe. She told me that i should come back and be the first white pastor of a S. African apostolic church (which we attended this morning- wow. ) i said maybe.
These are the hardest things. When my faith sets myself diametrically opposed to the culture i am surrounded by. And yet, there is joy, because this is what it feels like to belong to a different master. You understand the cutter when they say that the pain lets them feel reality. THe pain shows that there is something to fight for, and something to fight against. and that is Good. with a capital G.
this is not meant to be a downer- in fact, i am happy and joyful. we saw the cargo today, and where it will be finally kept. and God is redeeming my relationship with the program. it is beautiful, and i am glad to have taken part. and the friendships here are growing. and they feed us way more than is healthy. and we are staying at an ANGLICAN RETREAT CENTER called st. benedicts. that's cool, like, really.
My letter has become a book, and i am paying by the minute. So i will conclude with a sesotho phrase i was taught but can only remember in english: " two dogs can fight a lion". doesn't really apply, but when in rome!
-drew
I miss you all, particularly you, mom and dad. Staying in a strange home was both a sweet and bitter (though the food is much better), because i was able to enjoy a family schedule and company while realized both how much i have and miss. in fact, i was embarrassed of how much i have. Their house was nice, well built and rather large (one story, 6 rooms, 1.5 baths), without air conditioning but with cement floor and walls, so very cool even at midday. Afterr visiting Orange Farm, a township composed primarily of shacks of tin, this house was luxury. Yet, when i began to open my flipbook of pictures in my room, i could not stomach showing them what i have. He was firmly proud of his house, paid for with two teachers' (self-termed 'education practitioners', to add cultural weight) salaries, a house that replaced the small brick one that had been on the lot previously. Yet mine, for which i had done nothing, dwarfed his home. I could not bring myself to show my privilege. It was not guilt, i don't thin
k. And it certainly was not ingratitude- i wouldn't trade my home, and my childhood there, for the world. But there was something painful about the inequality, and i did not want to emphasize it.
The homestay was very interesting. We visited everyone and their mother, then the adopted mother-neighbor, the cousins, and several malls. Yes, there are malls in south africa, with KFC, McDonalds, fancy italian brands i can't pronounce but see in Charleston, and ice cream. The roads are full of cars, on the wrong side of the road and all. i've tried to get in the driver seat several times, only to have my homestay brothers laugh at me and call me back.
God has again proven himself faithful. If i recall correctly, i asked you all to pray for joy, for myself, and that i may show my joy to others. At my homestay in suburban Soweto (orlando east), my S. African family gave me a sesotho (pronounced seh-sootoo) name: Thabiso. It means: 'one who brings joy'. yup. sick.
Speaking of sick, Kasey's not feeling 100%, so if you're praying for me anyway, throw one up for her.
My stomach is acting decidedly bipolar, which is understandable (ever eaten pap? or ostrich? springbok?). i have already found myself in the Wantland-esque Dilemna of deciding which, between boxers or dollar bills , most aptly replaces toilet paper. Alas, i kept the bills.
The children here love camera's, and i'll tell you the cameras reciprocate. you can't be a bad photograper when you have children climbing on you, and on Nellie (Dr. Boucher to her face). If you want a challenge, check out Lombano Orphanage for HIV+ orphans in South Africa. I was deeply challenged by their work. This is the same orphanage at which (Auntie/Uncle) Shelley worked this summer. I had not realized the magnitude of her work. To care for children daily, children who may not live until next year, is a hard, hard calling. Yet she did, and others continue to do, now and everyday. In fact, they adopt the children, in their name, so that they can care for them permanently. A stunning, Christ centered, God-faithful and God-relying organization. I hope to visit them with Shelley again tomorrow, and i plan on asking about opportunities to serve there. Pray for that, if you will.
The landscape is phenomenal. THe red dirt contrasts the lush greenery, particularly green after the unusual amount of rain. We are far from the Vaal River, which is flooding out villages right now. I hear the homeland is having some precipitation of another form currently... Any in Greenville?
i ask your prayers, first and foremost, for conversation. I fear i may come off as too eager to talk of God, but He keeps coming up. I am not looking for ways to fit Him in my conversations- He simply flips the breaker and walks in. I don't often know where the convo will go, but when asked my opinion, i'm answering honestly. pray for humility and wisdom, that i would not speak foolishly but that the joy of God and his Gospel would shine naturally.
i was asked my my homestay dad (Tiboho) if i sing our national anthem from the heart. And so i spoke honestly, and said, not as much as i once did. He asked for an explanation, and so I told him that, yes, i was greatful, and i supported much of what we as the US, have done. But i also knew how much we have done poorly, and i explained that I could not pledge my alliagance first to my country, because it is pledged first to my God, and his glory. He was immediately shut off, not offended but uncomfortable. He asked if I was christian, and i said yes; very religious? yes. And so my homestay mom (matabo) said 'you could be like a pastor', and i said yes, maybe. She told me that i should come back and be the first white pastor of a S. African apostolic church (which we attended this morning- wow. ) i said maybe.
These are the hardest things. When my faith sets myself diametrically opposed to the culture i am surrounded by. And yet, there is joy, because this is what it feels like to belong to a different master. You understand the cutter when they say that the pain lets them feel reality. THe pain shows that there is something to fight for, and something to fight against. and that is Good. with a capital G.
this is not meant to be a downer- in fact, i am happy and joyful. we saw the cargo today, and where it will be finally kept. and God is redeeming my relationship with the program. it is beautiful, and i am glad to have taken part. and the friendships here are growing. and they feed us way more than is healthy. and we are staying at an ANGLICAN RETREAT CENTER called st. benedicts. that's cool, like, really.
My letter has become a book, and i am paying by the minute. So i will conclude with a sesotho phrase i was taught but can only remember in english: " two dogs can fight a lion". doesn't really apply, but when in rome!
-drew
Africa Update 1: And so it begins... (2/1/2010)
And so it begins. Today I leave what I know and journey to what I do not, with joy and anxiety, confidence and ignorance. We'll see where I am taken.
And so also begins a series of update messages about my travels. I will be sending out emails when I find a spare moment and a computer with internet. This will be done instead of a blog, because apparently FirstClass take less time to load on African computers. Who knew? (actually, Ali did, but she won't stop blogging even if she never gets another hit from Latin America).
And, guess what? You are on the list! I hope you don't mind. You made it on the list if
1) you told me to put your name on it
2) you demonstrated/feigned interest
3) I want you to know
or
4) you are a blood relative and thus i am obligated to prove that i am, in fact, alive
though more than one may apply to you.
If you feel this is 'not your thing'- do not fear! I'll delete you in a heartbeat (and more than likely cry later). But you have to let me know, lest I continue to fill your trash can, unawares.
Being on my personal email update list, you will therefore be privy to information otherwise unknown (you are welcome to share it. henceforth, my Africa-mass-emails are public domain!).
Some of the contents of these emails will certainly be ridiculous, humorous, insightful, intelligent, and witty.
However I will also write of my own thoughts. And, while less impressive, such are the subject of this, 'beginning of the journey' email.
My thoughts will naturally revolve around what I am thinking about. Therefore, much will concern what i am studying, seeing, and discussing with my classmates.
These will include Psychology of Children in Poverty, History, Sociology of Epidemics, and Religions of Africa, amongst other things.
Additionally there are several other 'preoccupations' that, I think, in fairness, I must warn you about.
First and foremost, there is my preoccupation with God. As I find myself called by Him to worship Him, my ultimate end on this trip and in life is to draw near to Him while singing His praises, because His way is light, truth, and freedom, and His glory is my joy. If you find yourself with different ambitions entirely, then I hope these emails will allow you to better understand me, for this preoccupation, while not always attained, is my self-chosen (or perhaps more accurately 'God-given') purpose.
Second, and sadly often preceeding the first, is my preoccupation with myself. Thus you may hear my pains and groans, my complaints, my misperceptions, and my brokeness. If you're the praying type, that would prove a great fuel for your devotion. If you are not, they may at least provide evidence that, left to my own (de)vices, I am no woefully inadequate.
Third, I like animals very much, and so you may hear more than you'd like of lions, fleas, and all in between.
I will be taking many pictures. Unfortunately, I will not be able to send them back to you. You will have to imagine the scenery, relying only on my descriptions. For help with your imagination, I recommend the Internet. There are many pictures there.
And so, as i leave, I am thinking of these things. And i am thinking of you (collectively, some individually), ergo this email. I hope it finds you well, and i hope it sparks your interest in hearing of my journeys. It is going to be one heck of a ride.
I have attached a picture of myself, to aid you in your remembrance. I look forward to our reunion, come Easter weekend, and I hope i will have many more stories to tell than I have space to share on these few emails. In the meantime, and in all seriousness, I covet your prayers, particularly towards the increase of my joy and of my humility, and towards a closer walk with my God. This is my primary desire, but i will not snub prayers for safety.
And I will be praying for you as well, as my readers and as my friends, that the same would be given you. In one way or another, we're all journeying. Mine simply involves a plane today and lions tomorrow, while yours is much less certain. There are great adventures and great community to be had at home, and I want to hear of them both.
Philippians 1:3-11
starting at verse 9
And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and deth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best, and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ- to the glory and praise of God.
(biblegateway the rest of it)
And so it is, and so I say goodbye, fare thee well, and mother, do not cry too much.
yours
-drew
and so it begins...
And so also begins a series of update messages about my travels. I will be sending out emails when I find a spare moment and a computer with internet. This will be done instead of a blog, because apparently FirstClass take less time to load on African computers. Who knew? (actually, Ali did, but she won't stop blogging even if she never gets another hit from Latin America).
And, guess what? You are on the list! I hope you don't mind. You made it on the list if
1) you told me to put your name on it
2) you demonstrated/feigned interest
3) I want you to know
or
4) you are a blood relative and thus i am obligated to prove that i am, in fact, alive
though more than one may apply to you.
If you feel this is 'not your thing'- do not fear! I'll delete you in a heartbeat (and more than likely cry later). But you have to let me know, lest I continue to fill your trash can, unawares.
Being on my personal email update list, you will therefore be privy to information otherwise unknown (you are welcome to share it. henceforth, my Africa-mass-emails are public domain!).
Some of the contents of these emails will certainly be ridiculous, humorous, insightful, intelligent, and witty.
However I will also write of my own thoughts. And, while less impressive, such are the subject of this, 'beginning of the journey' email.
My thoughts will naturally revolve around what I am thinking about. Therefore, much will concern what i am studying, seeing, and discussing with my classmates.
These will include Psychology of Children in Poverty, History, Sociology of Epidemics, and Religions of Africa, amongst other things.
Additionally there are several other 'preoccupations' that, I think, in fairness, I must warn you about.
First and foremost, there is my preoccupation with God. As I find myself called by Him to worship Him, my ultimate end on this trip and in life is to draw near to Him while singing His praises, because His way is light, truth, and freedom, and His glory is my joy. If you find yourself with different ambitions entirely, then I hope these emails will allow you to better understand me, for this preoccupation, while not always attained, is my self-chosen (or perhaps more accurately 'God-given') purpose.
Second, and sadly often preceeding the first, is my preoccupation with myself. Thus you may hear my pains and groans, my complaints, my misperceptions, and my brokeness. If you're the praying type, that would prove a great fuel for your devotion. If you are not, they may at least provide evidence that, left to my own (de)vices, I am no woefully inadequate.
Third, I like animals very much, and so you may hear more than you'd like of lions, fleas, and all in between.
I will be taking many pictures. Unfortunately, I will not be able to send them back to you. You will have to imagine the scenery, relying only on my descriptions. For help with your imagination, I recommend the Internet. There are many pictures there.
And so, as i leave, I am thinking of these things. And i am thinking of you (collectively, some individually), ergo this email. I hope it finds you well, and i hope it sparks your interest in hearing of my journeys. It is going to be one heck of a ride.
I have attached a picture of myself, to aid you in your remembrance. I look forward to our reunion, come Easter weekend, and I hope i will have many more stories to tell than I have space to share on these few emails. In the meantime, and in all seriousness, I covet your prayers, particularly towards the increase of my joy and of my humility, and towards a closer walk with my God. This is my primary desire, but i will not snub prayers for safety.
And I will be praying for you as well, as my readers and as my friends, that the same would be given you. In one way or another, we're all journeying. Mine simply involves a plane today and lions tomorrow, while yours is much less certain. There are great adventures and great community to be had at home, and I want to hear of them both.
Philippians 1:3-11
starting at verse 9
And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and deth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best, and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ- to the glory and praise of God.
(biblegateway the rest of it)
And so it is, and so I say goodbye, fare thee well, and mother, do not cry too much.
yours
-drew
and so it begins...
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