No time for style. This is it, folks, this is it. Tomorrow we begin to move for the Border, beginning our treks through the bush of Botswana. I am amped beyond measure. We're getting to jump into Zimbabwe to see victoria falls, hanging with the San Bushmen, canoeing past hippos, and riding giraffes.
We probably will not ride giraffes. But a boy can dream.
Yesterday, brief rundown-
-breakfast run to supermarket. Ate an 'American Doughnut'. it was not an American Doughnut, but points for trying.
-sandboarding in the Namib, the dune-desert outside of Swakopmund. The riding was unreal, but the climbing back to the top of the dunes was very much real, and my calfs are feeling it. 80-90 meter climbs after each go- it'll wear you out. But the breeze was fantastic, and they gave us a DVD, so no worries.
-met with a church planter from Antioch Church in Waco, TX. He knows louie giglio, did ministiry in somalia, and is starting a pizza place. Wow. Ever heard of the 'business as ministry model' (BAM)? interesting idea. Making tents=making pizza. I get it.
-had some worship, prayer, and scriptures with some folks in the group. It was good. We prayed hard, sang a-capela, and read much. Some of our prayers have already been answered. He's a good father, you know.
Thoughts. Emotions are not meant to make our decisions. Most believe that. However, neither is pure reason. Both are from God, yet both are broken as a result of sin. Scripture says 'where is the scholar of our age?', talking of man's wisdom as incomplete. We are called to act in Christ, to discern what is best by the spirit. What does that look like, exactly? I think it has much to do with checking our emotions and our logic against scripture, against a revealed God who has spoken in His Word and still speaks to us. But it's easier said than done. We've had several debates, one in particular, where i have felt reason and emotion dominate. And these are good. But i don't think they're enough, though my heart runs to them long before i run to prayer. Really, i think they're easier. There's less risk involved. I can order my life on reason, and if God fails to come through, then i'm still standing on reason. I can order my life on my emotion, and if God does not act, i can claim betrayal. It all felt right, it was in love, in passion. I have an internal parachute.
What i've found, as i argue (usually from reason), is that I lose sight of a big God. In fact, my God becomes small. My faith is riddled with contingencies, much like my prayers. "Heal him, Father. But, if you don't, give him Your peace." or "Go, and sin no more. But if you're going to sin, at least be safe." Where is the power of the gospel? The confidence in the blood of Christ? We claim that when Jesus speaks the mountains throw themselves into the sea. Yet we define man as too stubborn a subject. I firmly believe that the gospel is it, the end-all, be-all of it-all. But if it's so, I must be willing to throw the rest away- even my feelings, even my educated reason. As Paul wrote, 'all else i consider waste when compared to knowing my God.' Again 'while i was with you, i resolved to know nothing except the gospel, that i would not speak in human wisdom but in the spirit's power'. 'What i want to do, i do not do, and what i do not want to do, I do.' neither my feelings nor my logic have room enough for my God. i pray for the faith to let go of both.
I also pray for 9 month old Micah, a child, soon to be the adopted nephew of a friend of mine. He has Hep B (medically incurable), and is being retested for HIV. He was first found positive, but the initial testing is often masked by the mother's state (HIV positive). If he has HIV as well as Hep B, the medicines conflict. Pray that the test will come back negative. We are praying for a miracle. We are praying for a Big God to act, in ways that go beyond reason. But i believe it's possible. Pray fervently, unceasing. The test will come while we are in the bush, so we won't know the results. It gives us all more time to pray in faith. So pray, fervently, unceasing. I let you know.
Pray for us to love eachother as well. With a broken washer, we stink, literally. I'mn out of shirts, and shorts. We need some grace, and some shiny white robes would be nice, too.
I had another email written, but time ran out and it got deleted. As i re-write it here, it's completely different. I pray that God is at work in it, and they you are encouraged, blessed, and that God uses me in this somehow.
i'm out of time, and i will see you all soon.
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