Lord,
I don't know what to do.
I have reached the bottom of my pile of advice. My wisdom has been plumbed, and the sailboat of my life has run aground in its shallows. And I fear the tide may be waning.
I am so uncomfortable, having friends in need yet having no words to share. There is no clarity in my mind, no weight to shift so as to dislodge the vessel. I have been scuttled, and left with all my weight, once dispersed and spread over all the water-displacing hull, now bearing upon a small bit of wood pressed into the sandy bottom. All the engineering of the hull, all the bracing and the framing and the curve of the pitched timbers are now frivolously miscalculated, inverted.
No longer do I cling to my understanding, no longer to my control. No longer am I supported by my wit and purported wisdom. My future cannot hold me, nor my past. I cannot define myself by my sins, nor the sins of others, nor the fear of what I or they may do, though all are present and demanding.
All is displaced, all is discarded. I can only hope in Your goodness, and your mercy. It is sufficient. I can only hope that I am but careened, that repairs are to be done and health to be restored. I don't know what to do, Lord, but I rejoice in Your nearness, in Your voice. Your pursuit of my heart, unexpected, undeserved- to this I now cling. To this I am anchored, to this I devote myself, in study and worship and service.
Let me know Your love, Lord, however the tides may flow. And may my heart be made new by Your workmanship, and Your love.
In Jesus' name.
No comments:
Post a Comment