Prophecy, Exactitude, and Short Fiction

During my senior year I took several short story classes in college. Had I taken them sooner, I would have been an English major. In English, as in Sociology, students study human nature, philosophy, culture and social interaction- but the reading is infinitely more interesting.

As we learned to analyze and write short fiction, a major literary tool that we studied was 'foreshadowing'. For an author to foreshadow a story's conclusion was almost never to 'spell it out' to the reader ahead of time. In fact, foreshadowing was not used to inform the reader of what was to come at all. Instead, foreshadowing was most powerfully used when the author sought to prepare the reader for the nearing conclusion. Foreshadowing occurrs when an author introduces elements of the conclusion (colors, sounds, feelings, phrases, pictures, etc.), before the conclusion, such that, when the conclusion arrives, it feels familiar, fitting, right. Miraculous resolutions in stories can often feel forced or manipulated, a 'deus ex machina' rather than an honest resolution to conflict. Foreshadowing prepares the reader for a powerful conclusion, by making the conclusion more beautiful and more fitting that it would have been otherwise. Rarely does the reader know that foreshadowing is being used- but it's effects are undeniably felt. *

We often approach the Old Testament looking for exact representations of Christ. We want prophecies that prove that He was the messiah to come, that He was the 'heel to crush the serpent's head', the 'prophet greater than Moses', the 'suffering servant' of Isaiah. We want these stories to give us exact measurements of His body, a perfect copy of His thumbprint. But perhaps these stories were not intended to prove Jesus- perhaps they were intended to prepare us for Him.

The Old Testament was not written so that we could accurately describe Jesus on a test. The Old Testament was written so that, by the inspiration of the Spirit, we might recognize Jesus as the fulfillment of God's redemptive plan from before all time, and through all time- that we might perceive Him to be as beautiful and fitting a conclusion as He is. And this is a crucial distinction, for if we seek exact, one-for-one representations of Christ in the Old Testament, then of course we will never find them. Metaphors always fall short. A representation, by definition, lacks something of the real thing. It is something other than the real thing; but something that points to the real thing.

The stories of our forefathers, the poems and prayers of the kings of Israel, the images and promises of the prophets- these do not exist to prove Christ, but to prepare us for Christ. They are not to inform our minds such that they can fully grasp Him; instead, they prepare our eyes to see Him, and our hearts to love Him. Our mind, wrestling to grasp His nature and work, often lags behind. And I don't think that's a bad thing, at least not for an over-thinker like myself.

Read the Bible not to prove Christ, but to know Him. I suspect you fill find Him much more beautiful, much more fitting, if you do.

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*Flannery O'Connor uses foreshadowing in nearly every one of her short stories. 'The Lame Shall Enter First' is an excellent example. Re-read the story (after reading through to the conclusion once), and see how many elements of the conclusion are present throughout the story. Had they not been previously mentioned, the ending would have felt contrived. But because the images of the attic, the stars, the rope, are already in the reader's mind, the conclusion feels eerily appropriate.

Foreshadowing could be thought of like this- a river forcing it's way through a canyon will crash and splash over rocks and into gullies, without order and being quite overtly powerful, but unfocused and distracted by its obstacles. Were you to carve out sections of the canyon floor ahead of time, then when the river rushes through it, the river's flow would not be distracted by the rocks or walls, but would be focussed on its conclusion. Foreshadowing is the carving out of pathways in the reader's mind, such that when the story flows to its conclusion, it is not distracted by this and that obstacle, but instead is channeled in the direction in which the author desires for it to flow.

Praying in Church, or What I Have to Prove

I've felt called to ministry for a long time. In eighth grade I wanted to be a park ranger. But by ninth, I was looking towards youth ministry.

I helped with youth, and planned on youth ministry through high school and into college, and was affirmed by friends and family every step of the way. I was good at it, and relatively mature in my leadership. I was looked up to by those under me and my peers, and challenged to grow by those above me. I loved teaching, and counseling, and applying the love of God to every situation. And I loved power, and the euphoria of being liked by everyone, and the false community of easy compliments and stage personalities.

In college, I began leading worship, and thought perhaps that was my calling. I loved leading people into some 'encounter' with God, setting the stage for people to listen and respond. And I loved the attention, and the power that comes with a microphone, and sounding good, and doing something special.

By the summer between junior and senior year, I was increasingly aware that I wanted to preach. I wanted to guide a body of believers in thought and practice, comforting with that by which I have been comforted, preaching reconciliation, peace to those far off and those near. And I loved the power that comes with knowledge, and the admiration of men (usually the immature or ignorant ones).

And now I am in ministry, full time. And I see my desires for the gospel matched for desire for my own recognition and support. I am not a humble man, but self centered and introspective.

And this is why it is harder for me to pray in a church job than it was for me to pray at Kudu. Because at Kudu I didn't have time to think about myself. There were people to serve everywhere, needy co-workers and best friends and grumpy customers and the greatest regulars a barista could ask for. I was there, but the entire job was immediately other-focussed. There was little time to seek admiration, and nothing to prove. I was working in a coffee shop- the humility that this ground into me was real, and righteously overtook my pride (at first, I will admit, I felt that I 'deserved better'- how self-righteous is my heart). Coffee was hard, but because it was hard it drew me to Jesus with need over and over and over again.

Now I sit in a nice office, with a window, at a desk for much of the day. My time is spent talking to leaders, organizing events, writing training manuals and devotional material, studying scripture. THE DREAM. I love what I am doing. But now I feel I have so much to prove. I have so much life-pursuit to validate, so many affirmations to live into and prove correct. I have the responsibility of many small groups of many people looking to me for leadership; in an area where I was sure I knew what I was doing, I am now being daily humbled at my ignorance and idealism.

All that to say, it's sometimes harder to pray in church than in a coffee shop. Sometimes it's easier to seek the Lord when you don't feel like you have anything to prove, and are face to face with the people you are called to serve. But now that there is truly risk- can I trust Him with something so dear to me as my calling? Can I trust Him with what has been so great a part of my identity? Am I willing to seek first the kingdom, even if it's against my desires to control and guarantee outcomes? Can I be drawn out of myself to love others?

Truly, I don't have a choice. As the Lord reveals an idol in ministry, I am forced to either repent or to grieve His Spirit. And for that I am grateful, because it once again forces me to pray. Pray, as I pray, that I would pray in church, that I would trust the Lord in my new job, and that I would seek Him not just for survival, but for the joy that is His love for me. By His grace alone, that has become my prayer of late, and I look forward to its answer.
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PS- I've had a few particularly sweet days in the past week. Great conversations, good reading, and beautiful rain. And just a brush of the nearness of God, like a breeze not felt but noticed by the coolness it leaves on one side of your face.