Vision, Submission, and Arrogance

I have found myself arrogant once again.   When I am anxiously frustrated, smoldering, I need to start asking to see my pride (Psalm 139:24)- usually that’s the foundation of my struggle.

Proverbs 13:12

I have great dreams of what community should be, visions of what would be beautiful.  A community that does not shut down over the summer, but instead re-centers on their DNA, on the narrative of scripture with the twin themes of covenant and kingdom.  I dream of a group of people charged to serve the body and the world through the empowered gifts of the Spirit, discipling and being discipled.

I hope for a worship night that is fundamentally grounded in listening for the Spirit, a playground of following Him that teaches us how to listen, hear, and act in real life.

I hope for evangelism rocking Charleston, for hundreds and thousands of people meeting Jesus in the next few years.  I want to see house churches/communities doubling and multiplying through discipleship, not just through borrowing other people already following the Lord.

But I get very frustrated when my vision is not what I see happening.  Because, frankly, I love my vision.  I love what could be.  And I’m affirmed often as a leader, as having wisdom, as discipling well, encouraging others, leading worship, in humility.  And so I begin to believe that my desires mirror those of God, and that any other plan or vision is obviously flawed.  And many are, yes, but so are mine, I am sure.  And I dream without practice, you see.  I can plan all day, but when landing craft hits the beach the Lord’s vision is often played much differently than it is on the drawing board.

Which leaves me needing to do a few things:

1) Confess my arrogance, and apologise.  My vision is not perfect.  I am not perfect.  The Lord is perfect.

2) Repent of Arrogance.  Namely, apologize to leaders that I have rebelled under, or been arrogantly smoldering under, and seek to live more humbly in submission to them.

3) Cherish the dream.  Don’t toss the dream just because I am a lousy messenger at times.  Pray about it, think about it, develop it with the guidance of wiser, older people.  Look for ways to pursue it.

4) Listen for timing.  Wait on the Lord’s timing.  It may be your vision is just to speak about and plan, and will not be fulfilled in your lifetime (David, building the temple).  Or maybe it will come to fruition much later in my life (Zachariah seeing baby Jesus).  Or, maybe it’ll come next fall.  Don't worry about it.

And in the meantime, walk in faithfulness to what I know and what I have.  I do not have to be a part of a perfect community, and certainly not a community developed on my cision.  But I am called to love God and man well, according the faith and gifts He has given me.  And to cherish the vision that I have.  How?  Still figuring that out.